The first two weeks, I was consumed. It was the same struggle that I go through every time I come home--attempting to reconcile where I came from with where I live. Attempting to understand where I started and where I am.
My life is dichotomized. My Cold Lake life versus my Toronto life. My life before and after. They're two separate, parallel lines, rarely intersecting. And there's ghosts around every corner.
I never belonged here, but I don't belong there either. Neither was a life that I felt like I chose for myself. One I was born into and one I fell into by accident.
The most difficult challenge of all has been grappling to find the words to articulate all this.
I still haven't found them.