This week, for the first time since August, I was terrific at being unemployed--mainly because for the first time, I was actually unemployed. I had no contracts to complete, no part-time job obligations, no volunteer commitments. I was a free agent. Free as a bird, if you will.
It was awful.
I hated it.
I've discovered that I'm really terrible at doing nothing. In fact, there's very little inactivity in my day. I never sit down to watch TV, or to nap or even to read a book. (Although I'll admit that I do refresh Facebook a shameful amount.) I get up at 9:30 or earlier every morning, I feed the dog, I complete pre-determined activities and then I fill the space in between with cooking or scouring Craigslist for inspiration. Occasionally, I go to a job interview for something I'm not particularly interested in. (This week's interviews included a modelling agency on Monday and a marketing agency on Wednesday. I wore jeans to both interviews if that's any indication of my commitment level.)
Today's "break" came courtesy of a registered delivery package from the Finnish Embassy in Nepal.
I'm struggling to keep busy. Errands and chores that would have previously been crammed into lunch breaks or otherwise relaxing weekends are suddenly the allocated activities for the day. Today, I will buy laundry detergent. Today, I will organize my kitchen cupboard dried goods into Tupperware containers for easy recognition and access. Today, I will read the news (and not just the celebrity stuff). Today, I will take the dog on a longer walk than the day before.
I'm beginning to feel a bit like Hugh Grant's character in About a Boy--dividing my day into pre-allocated time blocks with one activity assigned to each block. There's only one minor difference--he was a heir. I am not.
It was a stressful week. But next week, I have faith, will be better.