The Two Rules

Okay, so here was what I was going to post prior to my shitastic day:

I was going to blog about bikini waxes. Yesterday's was my first-ever. The look at my face says it all.

Turns out, there's not much to write. It was not pleasant and it likely won't be repeated.

And as for spraytans, we've already covered that. (Oh, hello there chemical spaceship. So we meet again.) Needless to say, it was a busy day.

While Saturday, the big day, is focused around evening gowns, silver potato sacks and bikinis, yesterday was actually the first part of the judging process. Our performance is marked on three things: evening gown, swimwear and interview. And while interview questions will feature into tomorrow night's pageant for 20 arguably lucky finalists, everyone had a chance to wow the judges in an intimate setting prior to the show.

Now, there are two key rules as a Miss Universe candidate:

1. Don't be late. (Every piece of correspondance from the Beauties of Canada desk, since day one, includes these three words, usually bolded and followed by twenty exclaimation marks.)

2. You must wear your sash during all pageant activities. (This is basically so they can tell all 40 of us apart. They're like giant nametags.)

Although I didn't even have time to shower yesterday, I somehow managed to dress myself and was on the streetcar by 2:00, leaving plenty of time to arrive early for my 3:00 interview. "You look so elegant," a woman told me in a thick Eastern European accent as I exited my building. I did look good, in a navy blue pencil skirt and my grandmother's coral-coloured sheer blouse. For the first time this week, all was going smoothly. I even had my work notes stuffed in my purse, so I could work on them while I waited for my interview to start. All was well.

And then I checked my Blackberry to reread the email with the address of the interview location.

"Don't forget your sash!" The reminder was written in red italic font, directly beside the address.

I forgot my sash.

Suddenly, the smugness was gone. So was my elegance.

I frantically jumped up and off the streetcar at Augusta. The feat to accomplish? Go all the way back to my condo in Parkdale, grab my sash and then get all the way back to Bay Street in 25 minutes. It cost me $40, but I managed it with the help of a friendly cab driver, with only two minutes to spare.

As soon as I arrived (with my sash concealing my amazing blouse), we were instructed to file into a board room in alphabetical order. In my group (letters "E" through "J") we sat down with the judges--five women, including a former Miss Universe Canada, and one man. It was brief--for a group of five girls, there was only 20 minutes allocated to the interview process. Basically, we each had less than three minutes to speak.

These were the questions:

1. Are women's rights still important? Why?

2. What do you think of chivalry?

3. How do you spread love in the world?

4. Tell us about a recent humiliating moment.

5. What would you do as Miss Universe Canada to create change?

I rocked it. Or at least I think I rocked it--even with a pounding heart and shaking hands. (I hid them under the table all the while thinking, "Oh man, if I'm nervous now, what happens on Saturday?") I tend to do well in interview situations. I somehow managed to use the word etymology in one of my answers, as well as a brief rant about "Ms." vs. "Mrs." which resulted in a couple of "Right on sister!" head nods from the empowered female judges.

In conclusion, I think they liked me with my clothes on. But really all that matters is that they like me with my clothes off, too.

Rehearsals start at 11:00 am tomorrow. This will likely be my last blog post before the big night. Remember, it's not too late to vote! A final thank you to all my sponsors, including:

Jane Baldwin

Bryan Cox

Janel Goyette