A Kept Woman

It was late Saturday night and I had just returned from the interior of Guyana. Exhausted, I was sitting in my hotel room in Georgetown, inspecting my toes for chiggers and idly picking at the mosquitos bites on my legs when I received this email:

"Hello Jessica,

You have been identified as a potential delegate from the GTA and Central Ontario preliminary area and as part of the selection process, we are conducting preliminary interviews in Toronto on Tuesday September 7th and you are invited to attend. . ."

Two thoughts immediately crossed my mind:

"That's the day after I get back from Guyana."

And:

"Fuck, how am I going to grow one inch and lose 10 pounds in two days?"

I came back late last night and I'm far from in top form. I may be chigger-free, but every inch of my body is covered with scabbed-over mosquito bites, my hair has been bleached out from the sun, my nails are chewed to their ends and no amount of scrubbing will get the mud out of my cuticles. That, and I've been living on a diet of restaurant food, ramen noodles, peanut butter and Coca-Cola for the last 10 days.

Not getting a strong enough visual? Here's just how unglamorous I look right now:

So, sometime between now and 4:00 pm, I need to become very glamorous. It's a good thing I have this as a distraction, though. Only four hours into my life as a unemployed, kept woman and I'm bored.