Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Glamour Shots

When Sophie and I began our rooftop photoshoot Saturday afternoon, we didn't anticipate that there would be gawkers. They made me nervous. And rather than just focusing on grilling their sausages and turning a blind eye to the fact that I was vogueing on the windy rooftop in my Friday night best, they had to ask.

"What are you doing?" (Ugh. Nearly as bad as, "What are you doing next?")

I figured explaining was a fraction less awkward than trying to pose in the whipping wind without exposing my Jessica Simpson hair extension roots. (For the record, they were $25 at Winners--just in case the price actually justifies owning Jessica Simpson hair extensions. . .wait a second, why am I worried about being judged? This is a post about applying to Miss Universe Canada. Forget it. I bought them because I love fake appendages. Deal with it.)

"I'm 26. And being 26 means two things: One: the is the last year I can participate in Birthright. Two: this is the last year I can compete in Miss Universe Canada."

"Unfortunately, I'm not Jewish. I've tried to be, trust me. So Birthright, which was my first choice, is out of the question. This leaves Miss Universe. And I'm pretty sure I'm at least two inches too short, but it's my last chance, so I might as well give it a shot."

Based on height alone, I doubt I'll make it past the pre-interview stage of the application process.

Here are the smirk outtakes from Saturday's glamour shoot:

I've discovered that Blogger has changed a lot since I updated my templates with the help of a graphic designer in 2006. (I know. It's shocking that technology might change over a four-year period. But I'm the sort of person who, up until last week, still owned a Motorola Razr. Not exactly cutting edge, I'll admit.) So bear with me while it goes through another overhaul.

Update: I just realized that I deleted all my old blogroll links when I updated the template. If you were previously linked on my blog and would like to be again, please leave me your URL in the comments. Thanks!


  1. Hey... I was a former 09 blogger just getting back and loving playing with the new templates! Can't wait to catch up on your blog... you've been updating way more than I did!


  2. Ack... that should read '06 blogger!!! Your photos are awesome! Best of luck :)

  3. Anonymous9:13 PM

    This is so cool that I know a Miss Universe candidate!

    I would be honored to return to your blogroll.

  4. Jess, you can actually scam the birthright system and go on a trip to Israel. I've heard that a few non-Jews who made their way onto the trip because there's no solid approach to prove someone is Jewish. I'm pretty confident all you need to know is a brief history of Israel in addition to a fabricated Jewish childhood - you can borrow mine.
    Let me know if you'd like to pursue this endeavor.