Saturday, November 10, 2007

in case you were wondering

This is a blog about what it's like to have an eye infection for two months:

Your new roomate potentially thinks you are boring because instead of having a social life or ever leaving the house. . .

. . .you sit around every Friday and Saturday night counting the amount of medication you are taking. (Which just for the record is up to three different kinds of eyedrops and three kinds of cream for eczema around my eyes. Fun.)

You're ignored on the streetcar and suddenly have an idea of what it's like when a woman enters her "invisible years." You know you should be learning a valuable life-changing lesson about inner beauty from not wearing makeup for over a month, but instead your self-esteem takes a punch to the stomach. Your glasses get more use than they have in years, but all you can remember is being the first kid in your elementary school class to wear glasses, the first one to be called four eyes, and how everyone laughed whenever a basketball would hit you square in the face and knock you blind. You get more homework done, spend less money and lose weight from not drinking, but wonder if there's a larger cost.

You rent a lot of shitty indie movies and television shows on DVD. You start to think that all your non-journalism friends may have forgotten you exist.

You burn incense, bake a lot of muffins, take pleasure in washing the dishes, talk to the dead mouse in your wall, whine to your boyfriend incessently to the point where he joins your new roomate in thinking you're boring, and you cry a little too often.

And that's what it's like having an eye infection for two months.

Any questions?


  1. I know you're still out here Jess.

    Im just having a shitty time as well.

  2. Yes, I have a question:

    Any good indie movies you've seen lately that you'd recommend to me?

  3. Sadly, no. I went to see 30 Days of Night last night though, and although they could have given the vampires better dialogue, they were some of the freakiest looking vampires I've seen in a while.

  4. Oh come now, that creepy kid who was drinking vodka straight from the bottle and had a backpack filled with condoms was TOTALLY giving you the eye.

  5. Watch Primer. Its an indie sci-fi film made for $7000. Its really really good.

  6. Anonymous7:51 PM

    Have you learned any valuable lessons from this?

    Andrew: I watched Hard Candy the other day. I doubt it's an indie flick but it was really good regardless. It's Alex Dodd approved!

  7. Andrew's already seen Hard Candy and he really liked it. (I'm sure he's happy that I can respond to that before he can.)

  8. Anonymous1:37 AM

    i know this sounds wierd, but in indian ayurveda, they use fresh midstream urine as eye drops for infections like this.

    Just a thought.

  9. Yes. Hard Candy was awesome. I saw it in the theatre. But thanks for the suggestion.

    30 Days of Night was okay, but I expected more from it. I'm hoping the graphic novel is better, as I've heard good things. (That's a christmas gift hint btw.)

  10. ugh

    I feel so bad for you

  11. Anonymous9:21 PM

    I wish you a swift recovery!

    On the bright side, that top photo would be good to have with you if you ever need to back up a claim to being a flesh-eating zombie.

  12. Andrew -- check out "The King of Kong". I have the DVD if you want a copy. It is a riot!

    Jess -- seriously, cut down to like two blunts a day and those red eyes will clear right up (yuk yuk yuk)! If that doesn't work, you can always take the upthread advice and have someone pee in your eyes. Hey, nothing else has worked, has it? You can't really say, "I've tried everything", now, can you??

  13. Anonymous11:24 PM

    Your new roommate looks like Kristi Walker in that photo.

  14. Haha. Kind of funny-she kind of does in that photo. Except Natty's half Thai, so the comparison a little hard to see.

  15. Anonymous8:00 AM

    Oh Jess... You look awful in the pictures you take of yourself to show everyone how gross your eye infection is, but truthfully, I think you look pretty foxy every day at school.

  16. Why not sunglasses?