Thursday, May 31, 2007

Foodies in distress

I have it in good authority that Cold Lake would be a substantially better place to live if you could just get a half-decent falafel within a 100 km radius of here.

(Which you can't.)

Or, you know, I'd even settle for any meal from a Cold Lake restaurant that doesn't include a 8 oz. steak bleeding onto its plate with a healthy side of oil riggers or military men staring at me.

I'd also like a place in town that opens at 8 a.m. that actually serves a decent coffee. Tim Horton's makes me want to painfully burn my tongue with my inital sip of their coffee--just so that I won't have to taste the rest.

And while we're at it, hi, I'm vegetarian. Can you please start serving some veggie burgers around here? A potato with a side of steamed but previously-frozen vegetables does not constitute a vegetarian meal. Neither does an iceberg lettuce salad with some celery on top. If I wanted to eat something that disgusting, I'd throw some garden dirt into my water bottle and make sure some neon-green aphids made it into the mix.

And even that would probably have more nurtitional content that an iceberg lettuce salad.


  1. Anonymous3:58 PM

    Wow, you really are in another world. Fascinating, as well as an interesting reminder of how different the big city is from the, shall we say, outlying regions. I can relate, being a former military man.

    Next time you take a vacation, go to San Francisco. Some of the best meals I've had there were at very high end vegetarian restaurants. And I say that as a massive consumer of other previously alive creatures.

  2. Anonymous6:28 PM

    Cook your own food, man. And get yourself a good espresso machine. The militaries and rig pigs are a tough one. How about a crew cut, purple threads embossed with rainbows, and a scowling countenance. That'll fix them.

  3. Anonymous7:19 PM

    hmm.. I remember the feeling, being frustrated.. everytime when I ordered Ceasar-salad somewhere in Cold Lake I asked to get it as a vegetarian salad, without bacon or what ever meat it was that they mixed with it, and everytime (almost everytime) the waitress staired at me as if she didn't get the point. But hey it hasn't been much better hear either, it's a small town thing... But now I'm moving to the Falafel-city of Finland. :)

  4. No kidding. When i was in Fort Mac it was french fries for four months. At the hotel I worked at, it took forever before they would even think about making veggie food.... and it wasn't without serious ridicule... wankers... Here isn't much better and the veggie haggis isn't fanastic either.


  5. I am heading to Cold Lake in a couple of weeks. I am vegetarian too. I guess I will have to stick to eating at home for a while.

  6. It's all about eating at home. Only other problem? If you want any decent soy-based products (beyond just blocks of tofu) you have to buy them in Edmonton.

    I guess the problem is that I just *really* like eating out. And now I can't. But hey- at least I'm saving some money!

  7. Anonymous11:35 AM

    I would just like to state that it isn't THAT bad. I have been a vegetarian here for much longer and have managed to survive with little complaints.
    Cold Lake ISN'T Toronto, and we don't want to be Toronto. Cold Lake IS an oilfield/military town, what do you expect? Not saying that I am the authority on Toronto; aside from layovers there, I have only the skewed version that is represented by this blog. Now I know this will probably get alot of flack from your religious blog-fanatic readers, but who cares, really?
    Instead of using comparisons to Toronto, and in doing so, representing Cold Lake as a perverse town full of unintelligence, how about just suck it up. You lived here before, don't act like you are surprised at how Cold Lake is.
    Recently I have been finding your blogs less witty and more arrogant and overgeneralized. Working in the oilfield is how people support themselves and their families. Don't like people staring at you? Stay in and make your own meal, or really, just get over it.

  8. There is only tofu there??? Wow, we have Sobey's here, and we can get soy meatballs, sausages, hotdogs, veggie burgers, etc.

    My kids might starve...they hate tofu.

  9. At our Sobey's, they only carry tofu, and the Yves brand, so you can only the really basic yves stuff (which, in my opinion, is gross), some tofu dessert (which I'm addicted to). M& M Meats also has veggie burgers. But that's it. I tend to buy tons of stuff in the city and just stock up.

  10. Kand- I love Cold Lake and I love Alberta, which I thought was reflected in the pictures that I take.

    I don't love Toronto any more than I love here, they are just very different places.

    But I would also really love a falafel right now.

  11. Anonymous7:22 PM

    What in blazes is wrong with meat? How many college vegetarians have I known... Wait'll you're pregnant: you'll be down at the KFC so fast your tires will smoke.

  12. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Jess, you know I rarely comment on your blog and that I hate anonymous commenters a lot. But THAT comment was the funniest thing I've read in a long time and I'm giving him/her my "mambajamba of awesome" award.

  13. Anonymous8:28 PM

    Hey Jacob, why do you hate anonymous commenters? It's not like most folks here spill out their full name and address anyway. If I created a profile, called myself 'Dave' and cut and pasted a photograph of some guy from Google Images or whatever would that be better? I could do that for you in about 3 minutes. I'm nothing if not a speedy typist/cutter/paster. I learned to type in grade 9 to the rhythm of Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass. To this day a brass section goes off in my head when I type. But I digress.

  14. If I ever get pregnant I figure I'll crave meat so bad, that I'll eat my babies.

    I don't want kids anyways. And I figure their meat is pretty tender.

  15. That tofu dessert sounds good. Never tried one before. I will have to look for it when I get there.

  16. Anonymous12:38 PM

    You don't want kids? Teehee. Bet you a hundred bucks you make some.

    "An oath, an oath, I have an oath in heaven:
    Shall I lay perjury upon my soul?

  17. I feel your pain - minus the learing rig pigs and military men. I've been veg for a decade in Whitecourt and still do a lot of shopping in Edmonton. It gives us a good reason to see how the rest can live.

  18. Wow... so different from where I live. I guess that's why I like to read your blog.

  19. A Whitecourt resident?! I've been there! I lived in Fox Creek. I hope that my northern Albertan friend reads this. Word to Whitecourt.