Friday, April 20, 2007

Facts for Friday

1. It's spring!

2. Justin and Sacha Trudeau were both born on December 25th.

3. My new favourite summer dress is something that looks like Liv Tyler should have worn in 1994. Thanks Goodwill!

4. Last weekend at the 518 party, some guy kept telling me I looked like Liz Vicious. "You don't know who Liz Vicious is?!" He was astonished. "Uh, no." Before long, he dragged me over to Mark's computer to perform a google search. Liz Vicious is billed on her website as "hot gothic hardcore teen." That's hardcore as in, hardcore porn. So you think I look like Liz Viscious, buddy? That's like openly admitting your nearly pedophiliac fetish for teenage goth girls. Clearly a winning strategy for wooing the ladies.

5. Is it just me, or are the only kids from high school who are actually doing something cool with their lives of the super religious born-again Christian variety? Anybody else noticing this trend?

6. I feel like I have to put glamour shots of myself on the blog in order to compensate for pictures like last night's. Is that so wrong of me?

7. I have a serious problem at business social functions. Last night I was at a party for job #2. Holding my glass of red wine, I was doing an excellent job of not getting any on my white shirt. That is, until some girl pushed past me, causing me to pour red wine all over my shirt (which, by the way, is dry-clean only). The worst part? She didn't apologize, and all the guys who were standing around watching this just shrugged their shoulders and walked away.

Another classic case is the time I went with Tyler to the Alberta Centennial wine and cheese thing in Cold Lake. A challenging struggle with a chicken skewer resulted in a piece of chicken flying up in the air, looping back towards me, and landing square between my breasts. Several of the men at the table saw this happen. What should I do? Should I pretend that it didn't happen? I did what anyone else would have done in that same situation--I reached down, plucked the chicken from between my cleavage, and popped it in my mouth. Class all the way.

8. I will be back in Alberta Monday morning. Wanna hang out?

Facts for Friday: "Yo, it’s corrupt where I’m from--Ed-mon-ton!"


  1. I'll hang out if you bring Mortimer along!!!

  2. Define "doing something cool with their lives." Because, while I do know my share of the previously defined domographic, maybe it's just me, but going to home depot on saturday's or hosting guitar hero parties just ain't that cool.

    And don't make plans with Sarah. You'll show up and she'll be hiding somewhere or casually forgetting you've made plans while out tour guiding for some french guy.

  3. Totally agree with Jacob. The holy rollers from my highschool daze are all youth ministers trying to recruit kids for Jesus and George W Bush ('cause it's hard to tell the difference between the two dontcha know).

    I'll take the burnouts of the thumpers any day of the week.

    And guitar hero parties are just plain lame! [shudder shudder]

  4. I was lurking high school classmates on the Internet and they're all travelling around the world on missions, whereas all the non-church goers had premarital sex and are stuck living with multiple children in Cold Lake.

  5. The ones on missions don't get to enjoy being in other countries. They're forced to march aimlessly door to door in a feeble attempt to convert the pagans into religious do-gooders.

    I've never been to a Guitar Hero party, but add an abundance of alcohol and some girls to the mix and it sounds like pretty good time to me!

  6. >> but add an abundance of alcohol and some girls to the mix...

    ...and a root canal ain't half bad!

    The militaristic overtone of the term "mission" always kind of creeped me out when paired with religion. Lots of people think they're on a mission from God, but only a fraction of the ones I've met were anywhere close. And the ones who were rarely used the term "mission" to describe their travels. The only exceptions to that rule are the Blues Brothers, both of whom were, clearly, on a Mission from God.

  7. I had to google liz vicious after this. You dont look like that girl at all.