Sunday, April 01, 2007

Dinner and a movie

On Friday night, I headed downtown to meet Brie, Mark and Karen to watch 300 at the Imax. But since I couldn't get a hold of Brie and Mark due to their "Afternoon Delight" date, I did what I always do when I have time to kill:

I hung out in the travel section at Indigo. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to find a copy of Thor Hyerdahl's Fatu-Hiva: Back to Nature. This is definitely the first book I'm going to get from the library when I move back home. (Next on the list? Cat's Cradle, apparently.)

Then I went and picked up my ticket that I had ordered online. I accidentally ordered two tickets online, for two different show times, so going to the movies plus snacks ended up costing me nearly $45. "There better be a laser show for this price!" I told Brie and Mark grumpily.

Luckily, Imax movies start with a laser show, so I left a happy girl.

After the show we went to Tortilla Flats where a number of slightly noteworthy things occurred.

Like this:

Canice showed up and compared one of our professors to Lisa's teacher off the Simpsons. "You mean Mrs. Krabappel?" Mark offered helpfully.

"No, not Bart's teacher. Lisa's teacher. What's her name?"

We were all stumped. Phone calls were made. Suddenly long-distance intercontinental phone calls were made trying to figure out the answer. Lifelines were used. Even Simpsons buffs were temporarily baffled.

That is, until Mark made the winning phone call to Tristan, who refreshed all our memories.*(The answer is listed at the bottom.)

Then we played with Mark's new phone.

Endless hours of entertainment, right there.

Oh, and we drank.

And then Katrina, Ivonne, and Ivonne's friend came to join us.

The unfortunate topic of "Jessica's rants from the past" was brought up. Popular rants have included the albatross rant, the parrot rant, ardvarks vs. anteaters, and my personal favourite, the sexual misdemeanours rant:

"Which is worse? Beastiality or necrophilia?" (Feel free to discuss this in the comments section.)

After eating, drinking and generally being merry, there was only one last thing to do. That's right it was a time for a game of. . .

Long Face! (Haha. You totally thought I was going to say "Get Off That Thing!" didn't you?)

Ivonne clearly didn't know how to play the game. She loses.

And although I'm good at making creepy faces, I'm not particularly good at long face which is both dissapointing and somewhat surprising. Contorting my face into unattractive and funny shapes is one of my skills. Its right at the top of my resume, under "Skills and qualifications."

After Tortilla Flats closed for the night, and the girls went home, I headed to Mick E. Fynn's to meet up with my co-worker (from job #1) Inder, where we drank some beer and had some good times that did not involve eyeball licking, long face or conversations about ant-eaters. However, that didn't hold me back from asking about necrophilia.

*Lisa's teacher is Mrs. Hoover.


  1. Anonymous7:16 PM

    way to put up THE most unattractive picture of me, ever.

    ps i am reading this instead of writing my critical issues piece.

  2. I wasn't going to post the picture because it was bad, but it fit into the narrative. I was torn. And decided to post it anyways.

  3. Just so everyone reading this knows, I created Long Face in Amsterdam when GOTT wasn't taking off... and it is the best game ever!


    Write that down.

    Or play.

    It's that awesome.

  4. As long as one has nothing to do with the death of the sexual partner, I would consider necrophilia to be less morally objectionable than beastiality. However, I probably find bestial urges less appallingly disturbing (LESS, but still appallingly disturbing) than necrophiliac urges. So, go for the corpse, but don't ever tell me about it.

  5. Brie...I explained by linking Long Face that it was all the rage in Amsterdam. Good clarification in the comments effort, though.

  6. Heather- Good work on discussing the suggested subject. Nobody is really ever willing to fess up that they think one is worse than the other.

  7. Necrophilia is worse unless the animal is small enough that you're hurting it by having sex with it. In corpse vs. aardvark, the corpse wins for the worst, because it really is wrong. However, in corpse vs. parrot, the parrot is obviously a more severe misdemeanour, because you'd likely tear the bird apart.

    Long face doesn look like a lot of fun, but it's still no GOTT. Sorry Brie. I still want to play it though.

  8. *Long face does look like a lot of fun.

  9. Just for the super-Simpsons-geek clarificatin, Lisa's teacher is Miss Hoover -- not Mrs. Hoover.

  10. I need to go wash my eyeballs.

  11. i dont know what lisas teacher looks like. I think necrophelia is worse. I just find it creepier.

  12. also i am pretty sure in the animal kingdom that it would be more surprising to see an animal try and screw a dead animal rather than another kind of animal. this fact is based on my opinions of what the facts would be.

  13. Im too good for links

  14. where is tortilla flats and what is this awesome huge drink?

  15. Tortilla Flats is at Augusta and Queen W. The 3 oz. drinks are only $7.44. I think the one Brie is drinking in that picture of the Cheeky Monkey, although I can't really remember, since I think we drank just about everything on the menu that night. I'm a big fan of the Texas Tea.

  16. I licked a guy's eyeball once and he said it made his eye burn. Must've been my acidic saliva.

    Beastiality is worse because the animals are alive. And I'm sure dead people don't mind when the living have sex with them.