Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Another chain-smoking cliche


Based on my consumption habits during these last couple of terms papers and articles, I'm beginning to realize that if I seriously pursue a career as a journalist, I will become fat.

This is a fact.

After all, what else is there to do when you have writer's block other than to cut off a big chunk of cheese and a handful of chocolate, and bathe it all in some caramel and ice cream goodness, topped with a Doritos crumble? Case in point: My favourite meal right now is a breakfast bagel consisting of a whole-wheat bagel, an egg, a layer of herb and garlic cream cheese (on both sides of the sandwich) topped by a layer of cheddar cheese, which is likely followed in the evening by a dinner of beer.

And just when I think I've eaten all the junk food I have, I find another delicious treat hidden away. For instance, for Job #2, I have boxes and boxes of promotional and branded goods kicking around the house. Tonight, I pulled out a Caramilk bar that is designed to look like a Blackberry. I ate it all, save for two pieces, because y'know, I don't want to be unhealthy or anything.

I think I need to change my career choice. Either that, or take up smoking and become one of those cliched chain-smoking journalists who wears ill-fitting suits and uses words like "scoop."

Ugh. I'm not sure which fate is worse.

7 comments:

  1. I don't know, you sound like a true gourmet to me!

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  2. i like to imagine you using words like scoop. I just finished reading a funny novel about a bold hot red headed journalist and she made me think of you.

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  3. oh fuck those two stereo types and make your path. You know you wont be happy unless you do. Cause seriously, you kick ass. And yes you have that much ass kicking power to blaze your path.

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  4. Blaze that path with your cheesy egg bagel...I need some lunch.

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  5. We drink at our house for writer's blocks. Only problem is it makes me want to dance party rather than write.

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  6. Anonymous2:45 AM

    That sweater looks damn comfortable.

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  7. hahahahahahaha I don't like to reveal myself as a lurker, but I cant stop laughing at this.

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