Friday, March 30, 2007

Facts for Friday

1. Whenever I open chip bags, I always open them from the bottom. This is a tendency I developed when I was 13 and going through one of those insufferable adolescent phases when you are just trying to be incredibly different and draw some sort of attention to yourself. For years and years, I always opened packaging wrong, just waiting for someone to notice.

No one ever has.

I still do it, on occasion.

2. For some unknown reason, I find this picture particularly flattering. Everytime I look at it, I feel like Helka and I are incredibly attractive. (You can click to make it higher res, and let me know what you think.) I'm always looking for an excuse to post this picture, but haven't had one yet.

Let's look at the given variables in the picture: we're at Stage 13.* We're 18 and just graduated from high school a couple of weeks earlier. I'm cleaning out my ear with a q-tip. Helka is eating some breakfast, probably yogurt. I have a backpack that says "Finger Eleven" on it. My hair is pink, and Helka's hair is braided (courtesy of me). The tailgate of the truck beside us is opened, and I think Elana and Kandice are probably laying on a little bed they made inside. My tank top says "Cheerio Porn Stars" and on the back, later in the day after this picture is taken, there will be signatures of the guys from Shocore. (Long story involving one of the members of the said band trying very valiently to seduce me. His only selling point? A Bad Religion t-shirt.) I'm a pasty white despite the fact that it's the middle of summer, and my skin is exposed to the beating down sun. (Following this weekend, I had 'tan lines' around where my bracelets are. So, yes, I'm actually "tanned" in this picture.) And that blanket we're sitting on? Well, in a complete lack of foresight, we didn't bring a tent to a music festival, so we spent 2 nights sleeping under the stars, and a third sleeping in a guy's truck. Oh, and we're coated with dirt after not having showered for 3 days (in plus 38 degree heat with dry windstorms coating our bodies in dust), and after making 2 trips to the hospital.

And yet whenever I look at this picture, I think we look like the most beautiful girls in the world. And I think it's because at this moment in time, we were happy and comfortable with who we were. We were on the edge of something. We were on the brink of the unknown.

3. In Vanuatu, on the island of Tanna, there is a cargo cult who worship a mystical American known as John Frum. They believe that the messiah John Frum will return to Tanna on February 15th (year unknown) with material wealth for the ni-Vans.

“John promised he’ll bring planeloads and shiploads of cargo to us from America if we pray to him,” a village elder tells me as he salutes the Stars and Stripes. “Radios, TVs, trucks, boats, watches, iceboxes, medicine, Coca-Cola and many other wonderful things.”

There are no records of the religion before 1940.

4. Wonder what funeral directors do in their free time? They apparently contribute to the forums at which initially appears just to be a site for the morbid, but upon further inspection is actually a website dedicated to discussing methods of embalming, reconstruction, make-up methods, and creepy things loved ones throw into coffins.

5. I found out last month that I'm the oldest person in my class. Only 2 other people in the magazine stream were even born in the same year as me. So, essentially, I'm an old lady--an old lady who still wears hula-dancing pig socks. True 'dat!

Facts for Friday: Because who else is going to look for embalmers on the Internet?


*I find it peculiar that there is no wikipedia entry for Stage 13, which, at its climax was one of the most ridiculous music festivals ever. If you include Another Roadside Attraction in the tally, Stage 13 ran for 4 years, which for any modern Canadian music festival, is a lengthy period of time. Not surprisingly, there is also no wikipedia entry for Shocore.


  1. Anonymous7:02 PM

    Just because you're an old bag, doesn't mean that you should be skipping mag class. Attendance was down to a whopping 14. But it was your loss... we learned how to structure non-narrative features. It blew my mind.

    Also, as someone who was born in the same year as you, I have to say that I don't mind my old-ladyness. My two-year advantage helps me trick people into thinking I'm smart. And I'm really starting to embrace being a cougar.

  2. Anonymous7:45 PM

    Oh Stage 13, how I miss your Mars-like terrain, how I miss being crushed in the mosh-pit, how I miss you First-Aid tent, how I miss you James Black whom I flashed while drifting in and out of consciousness in the crowd.
    If that tailgate belongs to Tiffany's truck, we were indeed in there, amongst pillows and a boa, strangely enough.
    That was a good time. I have some pictures from it. We just didn't care about our unshaven legs and unwashed bodies.Remember sticking ice cubes in our bras to cool down?
    Oh, back in the day of comfortable naivete.
    also, I'm absolutely SHOCKED that Shocore doesn't have a wikipedia....

  3. Anonymous11:12 PM

    Your pink hair was cool! I envy it.

    Of course, I envy anyone who actually has hair of any kind.

  4. I think its an attractive picture of you guys.

  5. While we're on the topic of odd yet humerous island religions -- get yourself a copy of Kurt Vonnegut's Cat's Cradle. Seriously. Make it the first book you read this summer while thawing out in Alberta. I would not lead you astray.

  6. Cat's Cradle *is* a great book. Also, this is an exquisite picture of you. It looks like you just woke up, and despite my spite for finger eleven, I'd go out of my way to make awkward conversation beyond my band tee with you.

  7. Stage 13 was like Edgefest's retarded cousin. It was just a big thing put on by Chad Kroger to promote his clone bands: Theory of A NickleFault.

    And had I gotten over my musical ego for the weekend and bought tickets to that back in High School, I probably would have avoided you like the plague. But we've discussed and have come to terms with how things would've gone down had we encountered each other between the years of '98-02.

    I wish I was an Island Religion.

  8. Stage 13 was started and organized by the Tragically Hip. (Nickelback *did* headline the one year, but I didn't even watch one of their songs.) Justification? I think so.

    In the following two years I went, it was purely for the camping and partying, rather than for the music.

  9. Anonymous1:56 AM

    I really liked this entry, particulary the part about your pink haired picture.

  10. Anonymous10:48 AM

    Those were good times! And I also think we looked incredibly attractive, we still do. ;)

  11. Anonymous6:09 AM

    Checked out Bluelips. It's actually a webstore with a forum. They have some pretty cool Day of the Dead Stuff, T Shirts and even chocolate body parts. The url is