Facts for Friday

1. Whenever I open chip bags, I always open them from the bottom. This is a tendency I developed when I was 13 and going through one of those insufferable adolescent phases when you are just trying to be incredibly different and draw some sort of attention to yourself. For years and years, I always opened packaging wrong, just waiting for someone to notice.

No one ever has.

I still do it, on occasion.

2. For some unknown reason, I find this picture particularly flattering. Everytime I look at it, I feel like Helka and I are incredibly attractive. (You can click to make it higher res, and let me know what you think.) I'm always looking for an excuse to post this picture, but haven't had one yet.

Let's look at the given variables in the picture: we're at Stage 13.* We're 18 and just graduated from high school a couple of weeks earlier. I'm cleaning out my ear with a q-tip. Helka is eating some breakfast, probably yogurt. I have a backpack that says "Finger Eleven" on it. My hair is pink, and Helka's hair is braided (courtesy of me). The tailgate of the truck beside us is opened, and I think Elana and Kandice are probably laying on a little bed they made inside. My tank top says "Cheerio Porn Stars" and on the back, later in the day after this picture is taken, there will be signatures of the guys from Shocore. (Long story involving one of the members of the said band trying very valiently to seduce me. His only selling point? A Bad Religion t-shirt.) I'm a pasty white despite the fact that it's the middle of summer, and my skin is exposed to the beating down sun. (Following this weekend, I had 'tan lines' around where my bracelets are. So, yes, I'm actually "tanned" in this picture.) And that blanket we're sitting on? Well, in a complete lack of foresight, we didn't bring a tent to a music festival, so we spent 2 nights sleeping under the stars, and a third sleeping in a guy's truck. Oh, and we're coated with dirt after not having showered for 3 days (in plus 38 degree heat with dry windstorms coating our bodies in dust), and after making 2 trips to the hospital.

And yet whenever I look at this picture, I think we look like the most beautiful girls in the world. And I think it's because at this moment in time, we were happy and comfortable with who we were. We were on the edge of something. We were on the brink of the unknown.

3. In Vanuatu, on the island of Tanna, there is a cargo cult who worship a mystical American known as John Frum. They believe that the messiah John Frum will return to Tanna on February 15th (year unknown) with material wealth for the ni-Vans.

“John promised he’ll bring planeloads and shiploads of cargo to us from America if we pray to him,” a village elder tells me as he salutes the Stars and Stripes. “Radios, TVs, trucks, boats, watches, iceboxes, medicine, Coca-Cola and many other wonderful things.”

There are no records of the religion before 1940.

4. Wonder what funeral directors do in their free time? They apparently contribute to the forums at Bluelips.com which initially appears just to be a site for the morbid, but upon further inspection is actually a website dedicated to discussing methods of embalming, reconstruction, make-up methods, and creepy things loved ones throw into coffins.

5. I found out last month that I'm the oldest person in my class. Only 2 other people in the magazine stream were even born in the same year as me. So, essentially, I'm an old lady--an old lady who still wears hula-dancing pig socks. True 'dat!

Facts for Friday: Because who else is going to look for embalmers on the Internet?

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*I find it peculiar that there is no wikipedia entry for Stage 13, which, at its climax was one of the most ridiculous music festivals ever. If you include Another Roadside Attraction in the tally, Stage 13 ran for 4 years, which for any modern Canadian music festival, is a lengthy period of time. Not surprisingly, there is also no wikipedia entry for Shocore.