Sunday, November 05, 2006

So you want to be a journalist?


Somehow, I've come to the conclusion that updating my blog is this manner will somehow aid me in getting my article done. This is highly dubious. However, my the end of today, I will have 1,500 words of brilliance written and then I'll never have to think about female wrestlers again.

So far I've done lots of preparing to write. Last night I spent three hours transcribing interviews and today I made a cup of tea, organized my notes, selected appropriate writing music, cleaned off my desk, tied my hair back so it doesn't annoy me while I type furiously, and I've reviewed my notes. The window in front of my desk is covered with cue cards to keep my focus. "This story will show that. . ." Ivor, my magazine writing prof, would be proud.

Here's the worst/best part of this all: This is totally self-induced stress. I'm writing this article to build up my portfolio, but other than that I'm not getting anything out of it. It's not being marked and I'm not being paid. Knowing that I was screwing myself over timewise, I had the foresight to pitch a profile idea to Ivor about the same woman that is the focus of this article, however I think that what I'm about to write is going to make her hate me, and she'll probably pull out.

So in otherwords, I've screwed myself over all around.


4:17 pm

I've written one sentence. It is a shitty sentence and I hate it. I need to go get my laundry from the laundromat now and make myself another cup of tea.

4:53 pm

60 words and counting. Time to take out my contacts and make another cup of tea.

5:15 pm

143 words. I think I'm going to be sick. I wish I was writing a term paper right now.

6:12 pm

341 words. Only 1000 left to go.

6:31 pm

570 words. But this means nothing for the following reasons:

1. I've just been cutting and pasting quotes from one document to the other, which accounts for the sudden word count jump.

2. I write non-linearly. Which means that even after I have 1500 words written, I'll be far from done.

9:16 pm

960 words. I went mental roughly an hour ago and watched Canadian Bacon with John Candy. I don't think you can get much more counter-productive than that.

11:28 pm

1, 163 words. I've made my word count, roughly. Here's sample of what I've written so far:

"Female wrestlers are making a blah blah blah, Carmen Electra blah blah blah blah

Once a week the girls from BOOM entertainment gather in a ___________ gym"

Fuck, I'm an awesome writer. Pulitzer prize, right here, okay? I'm pretty sure my entire article at this point should just read "TK."

12:51 am

1,541 words. I've finally made some progress that I'm starting to feel good about. Things I'm not proud about: this blog entry. Meh. Whatever. We all know I write this blog for me anyways.


  1. Hey Buckwheat. I believe in ya. I know you'll pull it out of bag of tricks like Felix the Cat does. I gotta get some shite done around here.


  2. I've written one sentence. It is a shitty sentence and I hate it.

    The first sentence is always the worst.