For Adam

I've waited so long to post this, because I've been looking for just the right words, and I haven't quite been able to find them.

I wanted to write about all the ways we'll be lost without you.

I wanted to ask you who is going to fix Alice's hair and tell her which one of her three outfits she should wear? And when you're gone, who's going to pick me up sobbing off the street and attempt to jab my contacts out of my eyes, which makes me laugh hard enough that I stop crying? (I'm sure Scott can take over this responsibility, but I suspect your hands are cleaner.)

But now, you're already gone. And I realized that all I really wanted to tell you is this:

Remember that we know you are always there to lift us up when we need it, and in return, we're here to balance you out when your load is too heavy to carry.

We'll miss you.

. . .I'll miss you.

(But it's never goodbye. It's always see you later.)