Wednesday, August 30, 2006

The "blog" is back

Last night I met up with the kids at the Keg Mansion for Adam's 23rd Birthday. I had kicked jet lag's ass, and somehow avoided suffering from the hangover like condition altogether.

Initially when Nando picked me up from the airport, I felt pretty shabby, but then it occurred to me that this was probably directly correlated with not eating for about 12 hours and being deprived of hydration due to the new awesome airport security standards (I love being groped repeatedly in a 36 hour period and having my toothpaste confiscated!) but after a pint of beer and a veggie burger, I was golden.

So when I heard it was Adam's birthday, I was ready for action!

In my absence Adam and Alice took over the photographic documentation. Hence the guilty look on Adam's face. He knows he can never replace me.

A couple of things changed in since I left. I was originally known as Broadcast Jess, in order to differentiate me from Roomate Jess. Over time, our nicknames changed to Blog Jess and Jessex. And in the months that I've been gone, Jessex is now Jess-Sex, and the Jess has just been dropped from my name altogether.

They just refer to me as Blog, now.

One of the girls commented, "I heard them talking about you this summer and wondered to myself, 'Who would punish their child by naming them Blog?' I thought maybe you were German."

Some things haven't changed. Alice is still not only carrying around, but also religiously using the cherry flavoured petroleum product from NXNE.

Scott still shares in my narcissistic values. When I walked into the restaurant he excitedly demanded, "Good, you can start blogging me now!"

It's good to know I was missed.

I ate too much at dinner*, so I found the most appropriate solution possible at O'Grady's; I just unbuttoned my dress.

Indeed, the Blog is back.


* Eat too much? After eating nothing but rice in Vanuatu, I've decided you can never eat too much. Food is one thing I've never taken for granted, and I'm not about to start.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Nostradamus couldn't predict what's coming next

It's Saturday night in Sydney, and I've just had a very disturbing realization*; I haven't taken a single, narcissistic, masturbatory, worthy of using on myspace style self-portrait picture for nearly three fucking months.

Oh, but don't you worry. This situation will be rectified. In two days, I'll be home, and my digital camera will be waiting for me.

* Here's an even more disturbing realization: it's my last night in Australia that I can justifiably go out to the bar, and I'm sitting in an Internet cafe, lamenting the fact that I haven't been lolling around on the floor of my room in Toronto with my self-timer function on. I'm not entirely sure I have my priorities straight.

Also, I have determined that I'm attracted to men who look like they could be pirates.

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Bislama has detoriated my English.

I'm back.

Mi wantem wan bigfella welcome back long e-mails from yufellas.

The travel blog is back in operation.