Thursday, May 11, 2006

Would you like fries to go with your sex?

I have to leave for work in exactly 8 minutes, but I'm still eating breakfast, have to blow-dry and curl my hair (this likely won't happen in the allotted time period, but I like to think that I'm the kind of girl who would do her hair before going to work. . . which I'm definitely not), brush my teeth, and put some shoes on. Oh, yah, and for some reason I feel like I have time to blog in this time period.

Oh well, at least I'm consistantly late for work.

Last night after I finished with my appointments, I went out drinking with the other kids from my office. I think I threw them offguard.

"What are you thinking about Jessica? You don't look like you're quite with us right now?"

"I was actually thinking it'd be fun to date someone who has access to an x-ray machine. Then I could get random parts of my body x-rayed. Y'know, just for fun! It'd be kind of romantic, don't you think?"

One of the guys almost spit out his beer in laughter. I don't think they saw it coming, although I couldn't understand why. I've worked there for a year now.

"We always thought you were really quiet," they told me, laughing.

Not only did they discover I'm not quiet (shocking, but true fact!), they also learned about the list of funny things people write on their resumes that I keep. My favourites from this week include:

"serviced customers efficiently and within a timely manner" [I really wish I had gone into this guy's workplace. I wouldn't mind being serviced in an efficient and timely manner.]

"pursing BS in civil engineering"

"I enjoy working with people as I believe human capital is one of the most important things in life." ["I'm sure this is an actual business term," I told the guy, "but when I read it, it makes me think you have slaves in your basement."]


  1. Thanks Jess! I got you back.

  2. Anonymous3:19 PM

    I don't see any ads. I think they're broken. You should fix them so that I can click all the links aimlessly to support your caues.

  3. Anonymous3:20 PM

    Oh wait, I refreshed the page and they magically showed up. Nevermind.

  4. Human slaves... I could do with a few.

    However I like the BS in civil engineering. It gives me hope.

  5. I think when I was taking my Hr Courses I likely said "Human Capital is any company's #1 competitive advantage." More than once. The slave thing, never even crossed my mind, how embarassing. Where were you when I needed you?

    ps. did you see after a year of blogging I finally learned how to upload a picture and link you. I was proud of myself.
    Sidenote. What a hockey game tonight! wow
    I am going to the Sens game tomorrow!

  6. Anonymous5:32 PM

    I find it funny that someone thought you're quiet. They really don't know you. Everyone here thinks I'm quiet too. But wait, I think I just might be... And x-ray machine sounds like an extremely good idea!! Copying machines are so boring...