Monday, April 03, 2006

Conversations with my Parents*

Sunday night 9 p.m.
Phone Call to My Parents' House

"Did Dad send my new credit card yet? I'm kind of running low on money and I still need to pay for my vaccinations, buy my bus ticket to Ottawa, and get my computer fixed this week. I lead a very lavish lifestyle, you know."

"Well Jessica, you seem to take all these trips to Ottawa and New York. . ."

I interrupted her, "Mom! I'm going to Ottawa for Easter! It's not like I'm going to spend the holiday by myself in Toronto."

She ignored my interruption, ". . . maybe you should think about getting a job."

I sighed in exasperation loudly.

"Mom, do you remember that one time when I got a job in August, and I've been working there ever since so that I can buy groceries and pay my bills? Because I sure do remember that one time."

She was indignant in her response; "Well, I don't know about your life Jessica!"**

Monday Morning 11:00 a.m.
Phone Call Placed to my Dad's Office

"So you're almost done school?"

"Yah, I only have two weeks of classes left. Then I'm coming home, then back to Toronto to work for six weeks, and then I'm leaving the country!"

"Back to work?" My Dad seemed genuinely confused.

"Yah, the Career Centre has created a position for me so that I can work there until I leave for Vanuatu."

"Oh," he paused, still sounding confused. "Are they actually going to pay you?"

_________________________________________________________________________

*I'm going to pull a Mark, and hand out bonus points to anyone who can think of alternative titles for this post.
Examples:
"Hi, remember me, your daughter? " or
"Do you remember that one time when you gave birth? Okay, now do you remember the second time you gave birth?" or
"Hi Mom, it's your money leeching financial parasite calling!"


**My mom files all my taxes through my Dad's accountant, and subsequently recieves all my T4 slips. Accordingly, you would think she knows all the places I've worked in the past year. (Which is 4 different places by the way, because I like to work more than one job at once.) But this is apparently not the case.

16 comments:

  1. nando1:57 PM

    hmm....a title, huh?....

    "Sure, the womb is fun, but once that umbilical cord is cut......"

    ReplyDelete
  2. Andrew2:34 PM

    I talked to Dad this morning. He asked how I was doing for money, and I said I didn't have any. He asked what I was going to do, and I said I'd applied for EI and that it should come in towards the end of the month.

    I think I heard him laugh under his breath a little bit. :-(

    ReplyDelete
  3. Title: Do you not realize that I am your daughter in need?

    Im not sure what to say about your parents.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Haha. Just to clarify about my parents, I love them, but they are truly hilarious individuals who tend to forget they have children sometimes. (It must be noted though, that in my opinion, Andrew and I have quite a different relationship with the parents though. They love to meddle in his life, or offer him unsolicited advice, whereas they just leave me to my own means. Which is dangerous territory, at best.)

    ReplyDelete
  5. "no mom, this isn't going on the blog"

    "...your other daughter"

    "it's 11:00, do you know who your daughter is?"

    "and no, i don't still have the slut blog..."

    umm....

    "adventures in parent-sitting" ?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous7:37 PM

    Hey Jess,
    After receiving your email I decided it was my duty to check the blog (well I looked at pictures mostly). Looks like Toronto is treating you just fine. As for a name for this last post... "If I was a sailboat, my parents would love me...more."

    S~

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hahaha! It's so true!
    Steve gets the bonus point!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Personally, I think you should change the name of the blog to "I Enjoy Being a Spoon".

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous9:22 PM

    i agree with the reverend

    ReplyDelete
  10. this is for you jess...

    http://ryerson.facebook.com/group_profile.php?gid=4225

    ReplyDelete
  11. Junior,
    I don't have facebook and refuse to get it, so I can't access that link.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Ah. didnt know that. Thought it was worth a try. Its a great way to waste time though...

    ReplyDelete
  13. Brie ;)4:06 PM

    FACEBOOK IS THE DEVIL!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  14. You don't have to yell brie. And yes it is. Its horrible for creating large amounts of procrastination.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Anonymous10:03 PM

    "I Need to Take Some Responsibility for Myself"

    ReplyDelete
  16. Why can't I help but think that one of the parents left that last message? (Regardless, I think they missed the point altogether. I do work. I have had a job since, uh, always.)

    ReplyDelete