Conversations with my Parents*

Sunday night 9 p.m.
Phone Call to My Parents' House

"Did Dad send my new credit card yet? I'm kind of running low on money and I still need to pay for my vaccinations, buy my bus ticket to Ottawa, and get my computer fixed this week. I lead a very lavish lifestyle, you know."

"Well Jessica, you seem to take all these trips to Ottawa and New York. . ."

I interrupted her, "Mom! I'm going to Ottawa for Easter! It's not like I'm going to spend the holiday by myself in Toronto."

She ignored my interruption, ". . . maybe you should think about getting a job."

I sighed in exasperation loudly.

"Mom, do you remember that one time when I got a job in August, and I've been working there ever since so that I can buy groceries and pay my bills? Because I sure do remember that one time."

She was indignant in her response; "Well, I don't know about your life Jessica!"**

Monday Morning 11:00 a.m.
Phone Call Placed to my Dad's Office

"So you're almost done school?"

"Yah, I only have two weeks of classes left. Then I'm coming home, then back to Toronto to work for six weeks, and then I'm leaving the country!"

"Back to work?" My Dad seemed genuinely confused.

"Yah, the Career Centre has created a position for me so that I can work there until I leave for Vanuatu."

"Oh," he paused, still sounding confused. "Are they actually going to pay you?"

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*I'm going to pull a Mark, and hand out bonus points to anyone who can think of alternative titles for this post.
Examples:
"Hi, remember me, your daughter? " or
"Do you remember that one time when you gave birth? Okay, now do you remember the second time you gave birth?" or
"Hi Mom, it's your money leeching financial parasite calling!"


**My mom files all my taxes through my Dad's accountant, and subsequently recieves all my T4 slips. Accordingly, you would think she knows all the places I've worked in the past year. (Which is 4 different places by the way, because I like to work more than one job at once.) But this is apparently not the case.