Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Licking toenails.

Sasha came home from Peru today. We were happy to have her home. We were even happier when she announced that she had brought presents back for us!

We all got hand-knitted socks.

The girls at China. Except something doesn't quite seem right. . .

. . .oh, wait. That's better.

Sasha also brought me back a baby alpaca scarf, as well as llama toenails.

Yes, that's right. Llama toenails.

"That's so you!" gushed Court, in all seriousness.

"Llama toenails are so me?" I couldn't help but be a little bit offended. Okay, and maybe flattered a bit, too.

"Jess, you like puss," Court said, "yes, llama toenails are so you." (I'm not gonna lie. The llama toenails rank right up there as one of my favourite and most thoughtful presents ever. They are now proudly displayed in my room near the pregnant skull figure that Chloe brought back from Mexico for me.)

After I took these pictures, the girls were trying to look at my pictures when I grabbed my camera back.

“Hey!” yelled Katrina.

“What? You know perfectly well I’m going to put these pictures on the blog later tonight.”

“Yah, well, maybe I’ll just start my own blog! And I’ll take pictures of myself and write about nothing but myself,” she said, cattlily. “Oh, wait! Then I’d just be copying you!”

“Do you know what my favourite thing is?” Court chimed in, laughing, “I love how Jess sets the timer on her camera and then takes pictures of herself to post on her blog, and then writes stuff like, ‘I looked so hot that I had to take a picture of myself.’”

“Whatever,” I said defensively, “I have to take hot pictures of myself to counteract when I write stories about rashes near my genital region.”*

"Do you want me to take a picture with you with your llama toenails?" Court asked.

"No!" I told her, "I'm going to take a picture of myself, by myself, since that's apparently what I'm so good at." (Check out Brie pulling the classic "L for Loser' in the background.)

I then stormed off to my room, with the toenails attached to my belt, so they would make as much noise as possible and then I took these pictures.

Court, these pictures are for you.

This is what I'm going to look like when I creep into your room to get my revenge later tonight. . .

*I'd like to clarify the rash story, since I've gotten so many messages about it. Did you really think it was out of character for me to write about a rash? Also, it was perfectly within context because both Ryan and the Rev. have blogged about rashes this week. I was actually surprised (and dissapointed) that more people didn't comment within the confines of the blog itself).


  1. llamas toenails and hand knitted socks are so hot right now. im quite jealous! and that girl has no pants. crazy!

  2. i liked the rash story but it seemed like it should end in "to be continued...."

  3. llama toenails are actually pretty cool. And I love those socks. But definately toenails take the cake.


  4. hey I'm glad my painting got put on the wall,

  5. Melissa- I've actually had quite a few people asking me what happened. However, the second half of the story is as lengthy as the first, and although its slightly romantic/disturbing, it's also rather personal, less humourous and involves a surplus of drugs and the movie Dirty Dancing. Plus, I'm pretty sure if I was to write the second half and the ex-boyfriend was to read it, he wouldn't be too impressed. There's sanctity in some things.

    Calvin- We love that we have artwork "on loan". We all really like it. Thanks!

  6. I have a good friend who went to Peru a few years ago for his brother's wedding. The bachelor party consisted of climbing a mountain with the local shaman and ingesting a sacred (and potent) halucinogen by the light of the full moon while the shaman guided them on their journey. Some folks like strippers -- some folks like shamen -- and some folks like llama toenails. It takes all kinds to make the world go 'round!

    I can only imagine the scene of a Peruvian market place :: "Get yer Coca leaves, knitted socks and llama toenails right here folks! Coca tea, knitted socks and llama toenails for sale! Step right up! Don't be shy!"

    I have always wanted to visit the South (and Central) American ruins. The Mayans, for example, seem to have tapped into something much larger than themselves. So far, I haven't had the chance! Maybe someday I can acquire some llama toes of my own!

  7. Rev: The funny thing is, I blogged about the toenails just for you. I was eagerly waiting to see what kind of a story you'd have about this one.
    (Sidenote: the toenails are actually a type of musical instrument. I think the rest of my roomates want to kill Sasha right now for giving me a "noisemaker".)

  8. Oh right! They're a shaker instrument! I didn't pick up on that. I thought they were some sort of delicatessin -- kind of like pigs feet! Ha! Although I can see from the last tribal stomp photo that I was way off!

    Hell, I bet the shaman had those up in the mountain with MrMegaBuzz and his merry band of brothers! I remember the story involving some kind of rattle that he would shake from time to time to ward off evil spirits. The shaman said that he chain smoked cigarettes to ward off evil spirits, too, but MrMegaBuzz is convinced that he was more concerned with warding off a wicked nicotine withdrawl.

    You should take those to Dance Cave the next time you go. You can simultaneously shake both your groove-thing and your llama-toes!