Wednesday, March 29, 2006

I've Been Drinking

When I was 18, my boyfriend cheated on me. You know this. Well, you know this is you knew me when I was 18 and lived in Cold Lake.

Anyways, continuing with the story, when I was 18, my boyfriend cheated on me. I found out he was living with his other girlfriend (!) but I wasn't surprised. As a result, I pushed him down a flight of stairs. (Sadly, there were only 3 stairs in the flight, since it was actually just my front stoop. Nonetheless, the thought was there.)

In retaliation, he decided to learn how to skateboard to win my heart back.

Just to clarify, my boyfriend when I was 18 lived on the reserve, and thought he was black. ("You know you're not black and living in Harlem, right?" I asked him once, with a raised eyebrow. "I'm as close to be black as it gets," he told me, in defense. I guess he was right, since Cold Lake only really has white people and Native people.)

Anyways, he called me up one day.
"What do you want?" I asked him bitterly.
"To talk to you."
"I've been working on something, and I want to show it to you, but not yet."
"What is that?"
"I can't tell you yet."
"Okay, that's nice. Bye."
I hung up on him.

Two weeks later, Helka and I were driving when we spotted him skateboarding down the bike trail.

Our laughter was uncontrollable.

The End.


  1. The mental imagery there is too funny for words!

    On that note, Jess I have been working on something, but you have to wait until Easter to find out what it is.

  2. Anonymous12:31 AM

    Could that somehow be converted into a clever pick-up line? Think about it...

    "I've been working on something, and I want to show it to you, but not yet."

  3. one time marko pushed me down all the stairs of his house.

    that was like 10 or 14 stairs.

    i didnt get a concussion, but i spent about a week alone.

  4. Anonymous12:46 PM

    im a little relieved that you at least found something to do while you were waiting for my late ass....i feel a little better now!! but i'm still sorry....

    and the burning question of the day....can three steps actually be considered a "flight"? like, is there a minimum amount required for that label, you know, where a young immature group of steps advances far enough in life where they actually grow to become a flight? and at that point, are their parents proud of them?

  5. If you have more than one step you have a flight of stairs. A murder of crows is as to a flight of stairs.

    Now ya know.