Friday, January 27, 2006

Hello, testosterone?

After a lazy, hot summer spent at Sandy Beach with my boyfriend, I was trying to find the positive aspects of leaving him and my life in Cold Lake behind, again, so that I could start university in Edmonton.

And then it hit me- in Edmonton, I could have girl friends! All summer long, I had been predisposed to breaking down and crying whenever I got drunk. In between gasping drunken sobs, I'd ask the boyfriend, "Why don't other girls like me?"

I enthusiastically began to plan what would be my first ever "girls' night out." I envisioned a group of girls, make up and hair in order, drinking sangeria and letting loose to bouts of giggles while discussing lewd sexual acts. I could hardly contain my excitement for the forthcoming weekend, and it made moving again bearable.

Except no one came.

Mike, feeling sorry for me, jumped on the LRT and showed up with beer (which is better than sangria, anyway). Chloe showed up too, with two girls in tow. Suddenly, my "first girls' night out ever(!)" had turned into Mike, beer, and some borrowed female friends, because I didn't have any of my own.

Needless to say, I was incrediably drunk when the boyfriend picked me up at the bar later that night, and in between drunken sobs I asked him, "Why don't other girls like me?!"

A lot has changed in the past three years.

I'm now living a perpetual girls' night out.* I live with four girls, and go to school almost exclusively with females (right now, I'm sitting in a room of 31 students, 29 of whom are female, 2 of whom are male, and only of 1 of which is a heterosexual male).

And for once, this isn't a rant about my dating or sex life, or lackthereof.** This is the simple, solid fact, that I went from having almost exclusively close male friends, to having only female friends in the matter of three years. And that's just unnatural.

I seriously need more testosterone in my life.

*Disclaimer: I love my female friends, especially my roomates, considering they aren't overtly feminine. I am so grateful for each and every one of them, but seriously. . .this is just getting out of hand. The fact that I suddenly have only female friends stupifies and confuses me throughly.

** This, however, could turn into a rant about how it's nearly impossible to make new male friends in a huge city because one or both parties always has some sort of underlying sexual motivation, or thinks that the other party does. I honestly think I'd have more male friends if I wasn't single, because then there wouldn't be any confusion about my intentions.


  1. Is not one Junior enough? lol.

    I really need to become pocket sized...

  2. Hey, ill be one of your friends. Only if you drink beer, burp and talk sports. Oh and you have to enjoy camping. But if your not up for that, then screw it you have been feminized.

  3. Junior- I haven't forgotten about you. I'm generalizing for ranting purposes.

    Ryan- I meet all of the above requirements, except I'm not very good at talking sports, I'm just good at watching them. It doesn't matter though, because my quota for male friends in Alberta has been fully met.

  4. Thats totally not fair. Because i am extraordinary. And i bet that i am at least 6 times better than most of your male friends in Alberta. Why because i have been outside of Alberta, and have come to the assumption that while it is a great place to visit (ie: the rockies) and a great place to make money (ie:fort mac) it is no place for young individuals such as you and i. They don't call it Deadmonton for nothing. So i think you should reconsider!

  5. that was a great post. you have nice eyes

  6. Are you trying to disown Alberta, Ryan?

    Because that's just inappropriate.

    You can be my friend, so long as you that there is no underlying sexual motivation.

  7. Thats why I can't be a good friend. I've known Jess (actually, that's a lie, I've known of Jess) for well over a year now, however still, not friends. I basically have underlying intentions with every girl I meet. It's this thing, a disease... it's called being a guy. Best part, girls having boyfriends doesn't even matter.

  8. No, just pointing out some facts about Alberta. And considering that you currently live about 5000km+ away, its a safe bet there is no sexual motivation.

    Basically i just think you are a very stimulating person, mentally and physically. Would be nice to meet up some day and chew the breeze.

  9. Rob & Ryan:
    One of these days, one of these days. . .
    I imagine we would go out for beer and become fast friends.
    Although, I also imagine Rob is the mouthy type, and that I'd have to put him in his place. (Strangely accurate, no?)

  10. hey do I count as a male friend or am I for some reason disqualified under some technicality for being your roommate's boyfriend>??