"Hey there. Looking pretty good! Come back to me in, oh, about 4 days or so, and I think you'll be good to go."
"Oh, that's a shame."
"Listen buddy, that's a very nice soul patch, and I'm tempted to jump you, but I'm looking for beards here. I'm really sorry about that."
"Maybe with a little trimming."
Walking through the halls at school has just become considerable more interesting.
More Craig's List replies:
1) "On 1/11/06, GFCI Toronto
Why the beard obsession? I'm curious. And, yes, I have a full beard. I'm 26 years old. In downtown Toronto. I'd love to hear from you. "
2) "Hey, I haven't heard back. My beard just keeps growing the longer I wait. Seriously."
"Hi,I saw your ad on craigslist.A little about myself ..
- 5'7', 150lbs, brown.
- Working Professional
- Just shaved but give it a few hrs and you'll see something.
- Used axe bodywash / body spray once and it didn't work (damn ads)
Would want to see you in person (no pics) once you are comfortable. Never gone on a date by looking at a pic or sharing my pics.
The line about the Axe body spray made me laugh, but there was one main reason I couldn't reply to this e-mail; I couldn't envision myself screaming, "Oh, Boots!" while I was in bed. Seriously, what self-respecting man with a beard calls himself Boots?
"what a curious ad to have found on craigslist! Hahahahhaaaaaa......i have that beard you so desire, and i even wear flannel shirts to boot! How lucky thou art. But, what is it you seek fair soul? You were less than clear on that one i'm afraid. Let me know what's up and i'll send you some pics.
This guy on the other hand, had a completely acceptable name. However, I suspect that when he uses the name Will, he actually secretly believes he is the reincarnation of William Shakespeare. The usage of "thou" was inappropriate and uncalled for.
"I live in Brampton and currently looking for a new job. I am a professional engineer and will get a job in the next couple of weeks. I do not have a current picture with beard, but will send one soon. "
Aw, that's sweet! He's making sure I know that he can bring home the bacon!
"Heya sexy, how ya doing?? :-) I'm 6'4" tall, weigh 190 lbs, short brownish hair (turns reddish in the summer, VERY dark brown eyes (almost black), and I've got one more measurement, curious?? ;-)"
I shuddered when I got this e-mail. I'm actually not curious about his other measurement at all. On top of that, isn't he being rather presumptious in assuming a girl who likes bearded men must be sexy?