This New Year's, I'm encouraging you all to come up with the most absurd resolution possible, and carry through on it.
I'm not talking self-improvement here- after all, if you're anything like me, you don't need to lose weight, are already spectacularly good looking, and probably smoke/drink an adequate amount (I expect nothing less of my friends and readers). And I'm not talking world-improvement here- we've got Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt to take care of that for us. What I'm talking about is a completely useless goal, with no other concrete purpose than to at the very least to amuse you.
My personal resolution for 2006 is to only date guys with beards. And I'm not talking soul patches, or goatees, or chin straps here. I'm talking BEARDS. Beards that will cause my chin to break out in a perpetual rash. Man beards. Full-on heterosexual-I-chop-down-trees-in-my-spare-time-and-wear-flannel-while-smoking-pipes kind of beards.